A Book Like Friendships Can Be a Little Disappointing...By Lauren Yarger
Knowing personally the intricacies of relationships and how difficult it is to keep friends in these "all-about-me" days, I read with interest Sarah Zacharias Davis' new book "The Friends We Keep: A Woman's Quest for the Soul of Friendship (2009 Waterbrook Press).
After a few chapters, I had the uncomfortable feeling of being let down, sort of like we too often are in friendships, as Davis pontificated in an officious and distant tone about friendship, mostly in an impersonal way, using examples from relationships and situations from movies, television shows and literature. Just as I was beginning to wonder whether she had any personal friendships from which to glean some insights, a personalized sort of diary entry appeared. A number of these dotted the pages as I read on, but it wasn't until about half way through the book that I realized they weren't the author's personal accounts, but excerpts from the works of other women. They're not attributed on the pages where they appear, but are catalogued in the back of the book in a notes section which proves less than helpful when trying to match up the quote with the source.
I plodded on to discover more evidence of how women (including Davis herself, finally) face obstacles. In truth, the book is more like a thesis about this topic, rather than the words of wisdom about how to overcome them for which I'd been hoping, but there are some examples from the bible and Christ's life. If you're game, you can find out some less-than-shocking conclusions like:
• “The truth is, at some time we all feel jealousy.”
• “The concept of a best friend is not so much about favorites … Perhaps it is really about belonging.”
• “One must accept them (relationships) for what they are here and now, within their limits.”
Davis offers a short discussion guide in the back with a lot of questions that might get some conversations started, but which, like the book, don’t offer any answers. Somehow this book and I just didn’t hit it off.
Knowing personally the intricacies of relationships and how difficult it is to keep friends in these "all-about-me" days, I read with interest Sarah Zacharias Davis' new book "The Friends We Keep: A Woman's Quest for the Soul of Friendship (2009 Waterbrook Press).
After a few chapters, I had the uncomfortable feeling of being let down, sort of like we too often are in friendships, as Davis pontificated in an officious and distant tone about friendship, mostly in an impersonal way, using examples from relationships and situations from movies, television shows and literature. Just as I was beginning to wonder whether she had any personal friendships from which to glean some insights, a personalized sort of diary entry appeared. A number of these dotted the pages as I read on, but it wasn't until about half way through the book that I realized they weren't the author's personal accounts, but excerpts from the works of other women. They're not attributed on the pages where they appear, but are catalogued in the back of the book in a notes section which proves less than helpful when trying to match up the quote with the source.
I plodded on to discover more evidence of how women (including Davis herself, finally) face obstacles. In truth, the book is more like a thesis about this topic, rather than the words of wisdom about how to overcome them for which I'd been hoping, but there are some examples from the bible and Christ's life. If you're game, you can find out some less-than-shocking conclusions like:
• “The truth is, at some time we all feel jealousy.”
• “The concept of a best friend is not so much about favorites … Perhaps it is really about belonging.”
• “One must accept them (relationships) for what they are here and now, within their limits.”
Davis offers a short discussion guide in the back with a lot of questions that might get some conversations started, but which, like the book, don’t offer any answers. Somehow this book and I just didn’t hit it off.
https://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780307446114
1 comment:
Well-written review. Thanks for the warning!
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